What I Should Have Done.

My mother passed away recently. I say recently, it’s been 3 years this spring but, it’s recent to me. She was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2008. After several rounds of chemotherapy, we thought we had beaten it. That wasn’t the case. Two years later, she was in stage four and her oncologist gave her six months to live.

I don’t believe that doctors give expiration dates, I believe that God does. Before we were born, Jesus knew the day and the way that we would pass from life on earth, to heaven. Although the Lord knows everything that we are going to do before we do it, I do believe that we can get out of His will and cause our transition to come more quickly. For an example: Mom knew that she had Crohns Disease 20 years prior to her diagnosis of cancer; however, she chose not to have it checked. She never told her family practitioner that she was diagnosed with Crohns when she had her gall bladder removed. I guess, she was afraid of what the doctor may find. Although, had she seen the gastroenterologist and taken better care of herself, cancer may not have taken over her body. I don’t know this for a fact; nevertheless, I believe with all of my heart.

Regardless, my mom is not with me anymore. I miss that sweet, christian lady more than life itself. She had a love that came straight from God’s heart, unconditional love. My guess is, maybe that’s why I took mother’s sickness and death so terribly hard. I was her caregiver so, I watched her go from healthy and happy to skin and bones and sleeping a number of days without eating or drinking. She became mentally altered due to the cancer spreading to her brain. That was a horrible journey, the worst of my life so far. Instead of calling on God to help me through, I turned my back on Him and turned to things of this world. I wouldn’t allow myself to grieve and it took it’s toll on me. I had to seek counseling to learn how to mourn my mom.

We have all lost or will lose a loved one, a relationship, a career, and lots of other things that are important and precious to us. I implore you not to handle the situation as I did; rather, let yourself go through the steps of grief and allow yourself the time that you need. Don’t allow anyone to tell you how long you should grieve. My best advice is to call on the name of Jesus. He will hear you and give you strength to make it through, without living in the wilderness for years before you find your way out of it.

This is covered in my book, A Time to Keep and a Time to Throw Away. If you need inspiration to get through a loss, give it a read and let me know if it blesses or encourages you. I look forward to your feedback and, if you’re hurting, may God hold you tight.



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